Jess(w/ 2 ss' is the ginger)
Jes(w/ 1 s is the one i swim with)
You work with me you're set,
You fuck with me you die.
Me: HA! THAT CATS A PUSSY!
Me: You wanna know what I think? I thin-
Mom: No we don't
Me:*7 AM summer of 10, texting buddies, waiting for swimming practice to start*
text: Hey, u awake?
Nathan replies: How did you know I like tea?
I sned: what?!
*3 hours later*
Nathan replies: sorry I was asleep
Me: After the 7th day, God made the 8th day, and on that day, God said, 'make me a sammich!'
Bucko: well..thats cuz...your an Emma
Me: Oh great im my own species!
Me: oh ok so its like this?
Girl: How could u! ill never love you!
Guy1: NOOOOOOOOOOO*points to guy2*how could you?!ill never sleep iwth you!
Shannon: Hey Emma want the salt?
Shannon: Go get it
Bucko: *sneeze* i sneezed on the potbrownie...sorry im not used to it
Bucko:If you firetruck ride with ANYONE i will kill you
Me:...I thought that was a sex move...
*le gym class of 08(I think)*
Bucko: Hi welcome to second base how may I take your order?
Me: Uhh*pant*can I get a cheeseburger?
Bucko: Oh but we don't serve any REAL food
Me: Oh! Look at my toes! My lil sister did them!
Me: She's 14
Me: I need another finger*stumbles into bathroom*
Family(& Jess): rofl wtf?
Me:*tears apart empty water bottle*nyam am om nom nom
Shannon:*Snatchs it quickly* would you stop?!
Me: I can't help it! I'm hungry...C'mere Mitten...*giggles*
Jes: Well his-...*looks at lil boy* i can't say it with him here..
Me: then use the word...carrot
Jes:Well then, his carrots need to drop
Me:...i like carrots...the fruit!err- VEGETABLE!
Me: hey! you dumbass! get the fuckoff your phone!!!ARGGG!!
Mom: The person behind us is on their phone too Emma
Me: HEY YOU! *turns around* GET THE FU-*ducks*oh shit she's black. 0_0
Me: U clean them dishes
Scott: lol yea brb
Me: I want those dishes so clean, I can eat off of them!
Tawnee: I just met this girl and I've already gone through her legs into a small hole!
Me: Aw dude! You should have brought your smore's kit! We could have smoked the-erm...
*le summer of 10*
Jessica and I sitting in hte bathtub naked after running around in sprinklers, calling mommy over for dinner
Me: Mom can we do Divi's for dinner?
Mom: Sure*walks out*
Me: Ok co-
Mom:*Abruptly wakls back in* I have some serious doubts about you two...
Jess: Maybe she's taking a new approach
Me: Nigga shiiitttt shes gay?
Me: you need to get home
Bucko: u can wait
Me: No i cant, its like trying to hold in your pee
Bucko: drip drip dip lol nice metophor
Me: U bitch i really gotta pee, BAD
Jimmy: Say the alphabet backwards!!
Me: Z Y X-
Jimmy: NONONO i said BACKWARDS
Me: Jimmy wtf? You're drunk off your skinny ass
*le 2010 Jess and I are running through sprinklers..again*
Jess:I want a piggy back ride!
Me: Crouches* PROTECT MY BOOBS JESSICA, PROTECT MY BOOBS
*LE 2010 eating dinner with family*
Me:*Sneezes on le bread*oops...
Mom: You better throw that peice away.
Me: Yea yea i will i will
Grandpa: *Grabs piece i sneezed on*
Me: Pappy wait-...nvmd
Jimmy: Hey...Emma I hear your sister screaming something..
*We hop le fence into my backyard, wait outside her window*
Shamrox: 4 6 29 72 58 IS THIS NORMAL? IS THIS NORMAL?!?
Me: I think I did all of my homework
Mom: What about German?
Me: HA! FICKEN DAS!!
Shamrox: What should her name be?
Me: Ugly Fuck
Shamrox: Do the creep-*BUUURRRPPP*
Me: lol wtf? that wasn't the creep! That was the monster under your bed!
Shamrox: idk what came over me ._.
Me: How wrong would it sound if I said my pants were wet?
Dave: Hey Emma you wanna leave early?
Me: wha...uh...a-are you firing me..?
Me: Is this Joe's Pizza?
Me: thank god! Do you deliver in Edgewater?
Me: THANK GOD!!
Alex: Sadface = dumb
Me: sadface = me = sexy beast
Alex: Can't argue with that logic
Me: Theres always some dumb bilbo on shows like these!!
Mom:..Bilbo's a hobbit...
Me:I MEAN BIMBO
Me:*Claps hands* ok, elephant in the room, uhh, how do u want to do this?
Ben: IS there a way to do this?
Me: hmmm...it seems so elaborate
Ben: elaborate? HOW?
Me:...ok*stands up*y'know what?*Takes off shirt*fuck it
Ben: silent treatment, not even titties will save you
Me: Shit just got real
The rain's all like: "Hey Emma! Come out and play!"
And I'm all like: "I can't rain, I've got a job now."
Then Rain's all like: "D':"
Ben: So what were you thinking of?
Me: Hot sex in the shower, I told you this.
Ben: I ment what defines manliness..
Mom: What's RedLightGreenLight?
Me:WHAT. you've NEVER played RLGL??
Me: what do you live in a rock?!
Shannon: Emma, the expression is "Do you live UNDER a rock" not IN it!
Me: NONONO Mother doesn't get the privilage in living underneath a rock, and know what goes on under a rock. she deserves to live inside and to never understand what goes on around her!
Mom: Lol wtf
Me: The smoke tasted like green
Scott: lol what
Dom: Whose Mario?
Me: Luigi obviously..oh wait.*smack*
Jimmy:*tosses bottlerocket into campfire*RUSSIAN ROULETTE!
Everyone scrambles and hurtles couches to hide behind them*