Brace Yourselves

New year's countdowns scare me.
Everytime I think, "man this next year is going to be better than this one," it always ends up biting me.
I said it at midnight of 2013 and then immediately I spend the first months of 2014 driving frantically from NJ to North Carolina and back several times, and as a bonus during all that time I get a disgusting scar on my wrist from a stray cat we were taking care of. My uncle dies in march, 2 days after my birthday(I only mention my birthday cause it's cursed I  swear. shit wouldn't go my way even though its a day for me, my father would visit, ruining it and making it awkward, and then my grandma died on my 13th bday...its cursed im telling you). all while visiting my dying uncle in the ICU im failing school(because im in a different state) and my mother blames it on the fact that I smoke pot and that ive become a slacker.
Sorry mother, my eyes were bloodshot because I was up ALL NIGHT driving and crying 
 then my family spends the next 4 months getting over that and then opening the wounds back up when we go to his funeral. Then after that im haunted with the fact that my relationship with my boyfriend was obviously not working out but I promised him another chance, and didn't want to end it, but instead stressed myself out until I ended the relationship recently. and not only was I losing sleep over my failing relationship, my heart was fucking shattered as my bestfriend chose to drop me from exsistance
granted things got better with my grandfather's death, but I think that's truly the only highlight of this year

now im terrified of newyears. 
what if 2015 is going to be worse?
im spose to apply for the vet tech program my school offers in January..with my luck I wont get accepted and they'll laugh at me.
I don't know if I can handle another, "Sorry, you'll never reach your dream"